Detention Is Anti-Connectivity

What’s up with the idea of detention?

If anyone else reading has ever had detention, during our K – 12 grade education, tell me about it below: how you earned it, what the circumstances were, if you felt it was justified or wrong….

My neighborhood houses two schools within two blocks of my HQ: an elementary school and a middle school.

Have you had detention?

On a walk one day, I saw this bright piece of paper on the street, picked it up and something about it struck me: why would we believe detention is a good idea?

More accurately, who ever thought the idea of detaining students a wise one and to what end?

As a former middle school teacher and as a professional in my own business, I know that negative motivation is in fact a really bad idea.

Don’t punish. Inspire.

The example and modeled behavior of seemingly professional educators is not even close to being the best here; far from it. Habit and pattern, convention and swallowing whole this idea is in fact anti-educational.

Instead of assigning this kid detention, the singular opportunity to talk about what’s going on, why and options was at hand. Why wasn’t that the first choice?

If you feel inclined to preach to me or anyone that, ” You don’t know the circumstances,” don’t. Yes, you’re right I don’t. That’s irrelevant. What I do know is that unequivocally there are much better, smarter choices. Choices that can fit and connect with everyone. Period.

How about campus pick up or community service, school service, cafeteria cleaning OR how about this: how about one on one time with an adult who can help a student talk, engage and figure out a better way forward?

Radical idea, right??!!

Often seemingly disruptive behavior is a sign someone needs and wants help. So offer some damn help instead of assigning detention.

Detention for students is a stupid idea. To single out and isolate someone for their behavior is archaic and a waste of precious time. There are much better options, readily at hand.

Chronological adults of the world, teachers included: rethink this silly and worthless practice. Instead, engage in the true education of conversation. Find solutions rather than mindless and backwards habits. Ask questions, really listen, ponder, discuss. Solutioning requires us to tune in – to connect – with other people of all ages and in all circumstances.

Make the efforts you put forth worthwhile to everyone, not a detriment or negative.

Class dismissed.

What’s Your SuperPower?

Please, tell me – I’m curious: what’s your SuperPower?

Do you have more than one? I bet you do.

What do I mean by SuperPower?

1. Skills and talents  you rock.

2. You love doing, exercising and utilizing them, no matter your level of mastery.

Nope, mine’s not flying (though I love that possibility…)

3. It impresses you! Other people may or may not care or notice, yet that isn’t as important – you first.

4. Your SuperPower can and does change the world for the better, starting with you.

5. You love to share it with others, thus rippling the SuperPower outward, having a bigger, stronger, more positive impact.

6. If others can see it, they oooo and ahhhh over you and often inquire about your powers. If they can see it, it attracts them – big time!

7. Other people may hire you or buy your goods & services that your SuperPower makes possible.

8. Size of SuperPower isn’t even a way to rate it…it’s part of you and that’s what matters.

9. It provides long-term contentment, happiness and joy to you (sometimes others too).

10. It’s a part of you that you can keep honing SuperPower for your entire life.

11. SuperPowers connect you to and with who you really are.

Again – please tell me what yours is or are (in comments below). I’ll share mine in a few days, in this blog. Thanks.

If you want to become a SuperPowered Connector, connecting with people on purpose and with purpose, with a service mindset – comfortably and confidently, I can help. Contact me to talk about possibilities and programs for individuals, groups and stadiums.

Keys For Living

Keys to living:

Ask for help.

Make the change you see you need and want to make. Today.

Busy is an excuse.

Connect with people who you can serve and who can also make you a better person.

Live fully, in the now.

Plan for the future.

Set your intention.

Be happy. It’s contagious and meaningful.

Choose a priority (not plural!!).

Do something greatly, well and then move to the next thing.

There’s no such thing as multi-tasking, only fracturing your attention.




Learn and apply lessons.

Failure and balance are myths.

Mistakes are tuition (they’re not failures); learn from them and keep moving.

Go toward your goal rather than away from something.

Practice makes permanent.

Believe in yourself first. Others will follow.

Attributes Of A Great Speaker

Here are three attributes of a great speaker:

  • They have deep expertise.
  • They relate their are of deep expertise, conversationally.
  • They connect with the audience.

Great = effective, inspiring to listen to, moves you to action, carries meaning and purpose in the message delivered. Cares about their audience.

When you’re seeking a great speaker for hire to connect with your audience providing big value, call me.

Let’s see if there’s a fit.


515.450.7757 PDT

Lizard In A Can

Picture this:

You’re hiking a mountain trail, a road, that steadily rises for a few miles. You’re watching where you walk as well as scanning the landscape around you.

You spy something shiny. What is it?

You step closer – it’s only a few steps off the road.

It’s an aluminum can.

And wait…it’s heavier than an empty can should be.

What’s inside?

You look at the drinking hole and spy…what looks like snakeskin. Oh my.

Perhaps a snake slithered inside and couldn’t get out. That’d be bad.

You gently turn the can over and the snakeskin disappears and now you see…a foot! Oh my.

It’s a small lizard or amphibian, a creature of some sort. No way, you think.

Hmmm…how can I help get it out of there? Is it even still alive? What a careless thing for someone to do – toss a human piece of detritus in the woods and now some poor unassuming creature has met its maker. In an aluminum can. That is bad.

You notice the can has a crimp, a slight crease that could be, maybe, carefully used as a weak point to open the can, fully exposing the poor thing.

You do it – you carefully tear it open…the creature, that small amphibian, is now in full daylight. You don’t know if it’s dead or alive.


You’re thankful so you set it gently on the ground. It’s had a rough go, afterall, being trapped in a can someone was careless enough to leave in the wrong place.

You step away, hoping it regains enough gumption to resume its life. You keep walking.

When you come back down that same trail, you see the can, curious….and the creature has in fact left the scene.

~ sigh ~

You’re happy you could help. It feels good. You pick up the can pieces and bring them back with you to recycle.

*The End*

This is what happened to me earlier this year.

Message: Connectivity means connecting with our environment, nature, our world. And being a good person, a responsible steward of this precious little globe we share with all other life on Earth, which we frequently forget.

Take care of the creatures, properly care for the planet. We’re all connected to it, by it. Thanks.

The Feeling Of Lift Off

When it comes to travel, I’m pretty flexible in methods: car, train, plane, bike, feet….

One thing I do love about air travel is the moments of lift off. That magical few seconds when the force of acceleration welcomes me to the very depths of the chair in which I’m seated and I close my eyes and let the feeling envelop me.


It never gets old.

The sheer power, magnificence and wonder of that hulking piece of machinery taking flight blows my mind. Every time.

“…now please, sit back, relax and enjoy your flight.”

I crane my neck to watch us leave the earthly surface, head up up and away and smile reflexively at the sensation.

Being connected to the experience of travel is important to me. I want to enjoy it – and I do a fair bit of it both professionally and personally. Those who have figured out how to make travel enjoyable are wise; those who begrudge it – time to change (or at least no grumbling: it’s your choice).

Lifting off in a plane or lifting off in a new relationship shares some of the same exhilaration. It’s new or at least refreshed, literally sensational and puts me in a relaxed and optimistic state of mind.

Enjoy your traveling. Enjoy connecting to what makes it enjoyable. If you’re traveling with or around others, your happiness in the doing has a direct impact on their attitudes and mindset as well. Share the happy.

Savor the lift off.

Sixteen Books and Fifteen CD’s

Sixteen books and fifteen audio CD’s.

When I spread all of these on the floor of my in-law’s home following a book sale buy, I took another look:

What did I really have?

Had I actually read any of them before? Maybe they were attractive to me again as they were at first.

What was it about the books I bought that attracted me?

I  realized that I had in fact read at least one of them previously (got redonated).

I’m a pretty avid reader. My Fine Husband marvels at how much I read, specifically how many books I read. My appetite for reading and learning and pondering is ever-hungry.

As a connector, I find that reading provides many different advantages:

  • Always something to talk about, open a conversation with and meet new folks because of.
  • Keeps me current and informed. Along with books, a few online platforms of communities keep the choices flowing.
  • My vocabulary expands. Invariably I read words that are new, which I then learn and add to my own lexicon – or at least understand when I come across them again.
  • Enriches my life, my endeavors (“work” included) and therefore what I give outward in life.

One of my Grandmas was blind. She’d progressively gone blind as she aged. In fact, she never saw what I really looked like. I entered her life as an adult when her peripheral vision was what she had remaining.

I remember going to her house often (we lived in the same town) and hearing the books on tape turned up so she could hear them while she puttered in her home. She would get a great variety of books to listen to and we would talk about some of them. She wasn’t going without books, vision be damned.

The earliest memories of childhood I have include walking to the local library branch as a very small child, with my mom and sister. We’d check out as many books as we could carry – and did so, often. I’m grateful to have been indoctrinated into the incredible world of the libraries and reading so young.

Reading is so much more than text on pages or screens, or even via audio recordings. It’s a powerful way to engage with minds of every conceivable thinking, to explore the world from a comfy chair and it’s a way to learn in service to others.

I can’t imagine not being able to read. So those 16 books and 15 CD’s were but a symptom of my love of connecting with ideas in written and audio form.

What are you reading?

p.s. if you’re an author and would like to offer your books, in audio format, to hungry readers, contact Learning Ally. I recorded my first book with them. They provide a truly valuable service.

Rolling With The Punches Beats You Up

“Roll with the punches.”

Heard that one before?

What exactly does that mean? here’s the origin:

“The Origin is from the sport of Boxing: from the literal meaning roll with the punches (i.e. an instruction to step back or to one side as the boxer is being hit or punched), so that the boxer lessens the impact and receives less than the full force of the attack.” – Wiktionary

Are you trying to minimize the damage? “Less than full force?” So…partial force?? Ouch.

Roll with the waves…

Any way I look at this it’s all wrong. You’re gonna get beat up.

I propose we start saying Roll With The Waves instead.

Rolling with the waves, undulating with the rhythm seems so much more, well, non-violent, gentle and still presents its own challenge.

As a connector and long time business person, rolling with the waves is critical to staying above water, afloat – any analogy you want. Is it brutal sometimes? Yes; owning and running a business provides its share of bruising.

And it’s all perspective. If I think of them as waves, versus punches, I feel way more ready to get in the boat (there I go again).

If you’re able to roll with the waves, paddling still, navigating, trimming the sail of your endeavors you’re more likely to making progress. If you roll with the waves, you’re much more likely to keep moving forward with your connecting efforts, less dissuaded by seeming setbacks – maybe even rogue waves.

Set sail. Keep paddling. Roll with the waves.

You: The Org Chart

As a connector, my days fly by. Meeting up with people, writing, speaking, teaching….it all fills the days quickly. So how do I get a hold of the eagle that is my day?

One tool I use is an Org Chart.

I’ve promised some fine people on LinkedIn that I’d share my Org Chart tactic with them – so here it is, for everyone.

very first Org Chart

1. An Org Chart, aka Organizational Chart, is a way to visually see the structure within an organization, any size, shape, color, make and model. Party of one? Yes. Entity of 5000? Yes.

2. It’s designed to help organizationally with the layout of the entity, identify areas of responsibility and functions, thereby supporting clarity and focus.

3. They assist in building the framework of who does what, when how and so forth.

A client of mine brought up org charts a few years ago and it got me thinking. “What if I have my own org Chart? How could that positively impact my endeavors?”

a few months ago…

I’ve used them ever since that fateful conversation.

And I use them every single day. There’s one in my HQ on the wall, which I look at daily and modify when I’m moved to do so. Changing services? Good time to update. Changing directions? Good time to adjust. Adding crew, dropping duties and everything else…all of it can be outlined in an org chart.

You can see a progression with the three I’m sharing: The first one I created (top) was a brain dump. Let’s get everything out there, on paper. The second one (middle) shows how I started organizing much more succinctly. Number three (current…for now!) shows that I’ve modified how they link together.

However you decide to ideate and start your own, the clarity they propel is unequivocal for me. I can put things on the chart that I WANT to accomplish, goals, intentions. From this I can build my strategy from each grouping, then tactics (action steps).

Current org chart

They keep me from plugging in stuff that does not add value, purpose or momentum to my vision. (I add a Side Hustle section for that…)

I’m one of those people who like a certain amount of structure. Suitable structure to guide me forward is what I’m interested in. An Org Chart is one of those structures. I can be flexible, move, change, adapt. Which is what every business must do to thrive, not just survive.

If you give this tactic a go, play around with it. Be kind and easy on yourself as you get them up and running. Frankly, I’d love to cork board or chalkboard paint a whole wall in my office with the chart. (wait a minute, I can….)

Having it front of our faces is key to referencing this tool with success. I’ll share more tomorrow on writing it out, big format, on paper, to help organize your thoughts, business, efforts and intentions.

If you choose to try this, I’d love to see pictures or videos of you making them, posting them in your world and any comments you have on what works really well for you in the utilization of them. Please share in the comments below.

Okay, time for me to hang my current chart back on my HQ wall and get to it. Let’s see…which one to focus on today?? Ahhh, yes…here I go….

Ditch The Pitch

When you think of what you share with people when they ask, ‘What do you do?” what do you call that reply?

Do you call it a ‘pitch’?

Starting today, I’d say Ditch the Pitch.

Unless you’re a ball player or work on a ship, get rid of the idea that you re literally throwing something AT people. Engage instead. Inquire first, ask thoughtful open-ended questions. Those will invariably lead to questions back to you.

Asking questions shows that other person that you’re a connector, not a collector. That you’re interested, not interesting.

Asking questions first also puts you in what I call the Power Spot: when you ask questions and listen first, you garner knowledge of the other person first. Therefore you can be thinking about how and even if you can serve them.

A pitch can feel and be pushy and repel. Connectors are magnets, not repellents.

So when the question arrives, which is usually does, don’t pitch. Engage first, express genuine interest and go from there.

Here’s a short video on Ditch The Pitch originally published on LinkedIn. Ditch the pitch 060818