Your Why Is Your Purpose

Your Why is your purpose – it’s your intention.

It’s what makes you move forward.

When I wrote the Connectivity Canon, I wanted to be superdupercrystalclear on what my Why was.

The world doesn’t need another book! What it needs is more connectivity.

More you and me, being together, learning how to communicate, learning how to get along.

Learning how to talk about the great stuff, the sticky stuff and everything in between.

When we know our Why, that becomes easier.

So, if it’s a challenge for you to get to know people, the Canon is a great place to start.

And the most important place to start is Your Why.

Why do you do what you do?

Why do you even think this might be important, why does it matter? When you know your why, it drives everything else.

If you need to get your own copy, here’s a link.

Please comment below and tell me what your Why is.

If you’re on LinkedIn, here’s a video of this post as well.

Reading Is Another Tactic For Connecting

If you’ve ever walked into a room – or you’re planning to walk into the room and you want to connect with people, and you don’t know what you can talk about, I’ve got a solution.

One word: Read.

Read a lot, read whatever you like, read for pleasure, read for information, read for education.

I’m a huge reader and I keep track of what I read.

Readers are leaders.

And readers are often Connectors.

Because it’s common ground. It’s a topic you can talk about. It’s safe. It’s interesting. It’s provocative.

So if you struggle with how to connect with somebody and what to talk about?

I’d highly encourage you to read!

You can see my entire list for 2018 (so far!) here.

Please share what you’ve read below or via email.

Who’s Paying Attention To You?

Do you think people are paying attention to what you post?

Guess, what – they are.

Whether you feel like you’re out in the weeds by yourself, or you’re wondering if anybody even cares, and you’re only trying to hear yourself speak by putting video up or writing something and posting it – guess what: somebody is gonna pay attention.

Case in point: yesterday I updated by LinkedIn profile… And put some material on there that I should have updated a while ago.

I opened up my LinkedIn today and there are several dozen people saying, “hey Congrats!” “Way to go”…

And I’m thinking, I just updated – that stuff isn’t brand new!?!

People are paying attention and people want to participate – that’s called connectivity, that’s called community building.

The next time you think and you wonder, “why am I doing this – does this matter to anybody?” Know that it does!

Keep it coming from who you are, what you are, how you serve. People are there and they’re eager to connect. That was one sign for me today.

Special props to my LinkedIn coaches: Amy Jones & Kate Paine & Misfit Group….

Magic Boots

I’ve got magic boots.

  • They’re not magic in the way they’re made.
  • They’re not magic in the fact I got them from a genie.

They’re magic because they’re connecting boots.

They’re the craziest boots I’ve ever bought. I love boots. They’re super comfortable and kind of a signature thing for me….

And I realized that when I got these boots, I got something I loved. What I didn’t realize is that I got a connecting tool.

They have more sparkles on them than are in the Milky Way. It was a surprise even to me that I got them(!).

Every single time I wear them somebody makes a comment.

And it’s a positive comment. “Wow, great boots,” or “those are terrific!”

Something that’s very complementary.

I’ve learned that they’re a remarkable connecting tactic.

So when I teach about connectivity and how to get comfortable and confident connecting, one thing I love to highlight is the boots.

Not that everyone has to have a pair of boots.

Know though that everybody has something that makes them attractive and interesting and makes somebody else want to engage with them.

So, what are your boots? What is it that helps you attract and welcome people to who you are simply by being you?

Tell me in the comments below.

Connectivity Requires Participation

Connectivity requires participation.

Participation means showing up.

This morning I got up and out the door, and I want to a local chamber event.

If I don’t show up, I don’t make progress.

I don’t have the opportunity to serve people, other people don’t have the opportunity to learn about me, and we don’t build community.

Community requires participation. Connectivity requires participation.

This is a wonderful virtuous circle…

Look at your calendar this week.

You’re never too busy. Everybody has the same amount of time.

You get to decide what’s a priority.

  • Is it a priority to build connections?
  • Is it a priority to build community?

Then participate. Pick one space that you want to show up in this week, and show up. Fully and with a service mindset and you’re going to have a great time.

Remember, it’s a great day to connect.

Anyone Who Wants To Connect, Can

Let’s start here: Anyone who wants to connect, can.

Connectivity Canon, page 20

It could be a stretch to use the word “anyone” in the statement above.

All the same, use it I did and with a lot of thought behind if it’s the right word – if I truly mean anyone – or not.

I do and I did.

Here’s why.

Connectivity: connecting on purpose with a service mindset.

Anyone can connect with someone else on purpose.

And anyone can have a service mindset.

Both of these may seem bold. I simply believe them to be fundamental. In order to want to connect with someone else, in order to create and develop a relationship, we must want to do so first. Simultaneously, we must have the right mindset to do so.

When I was writing the Canon, I wanted to have the words inside inspire, motivate and move the reader to action. Desire – the wanting to connect with other people – is the very first consideration. It’s the Why that I cover in the book as well, the Why I get asked to speak about and share, the Why that drives us forward.

Why = meeting people on purpose. When we know our why, we get in motion.

We then bring Mindset into the picture, setting our mind to match our intention of purpose and start building momentum.

Both are necessary: Why + Mindset. It’s the reason the Why + Mindset are the first part of the book and why they’re included in the Elements and Concepts covered as well. Without one, the other is bereft – unmoored and not complete-ly ready to move you forward. You’re not ready to connect unless you have them both in place.

Figure out your Why: Your purpose for wanting to create and develop relationships. Then figure out what Mindset is necessary for you to do so: objective, willing and positive.

The book covers all of this. You can get your copy or keep reading and digging around here on the site. Do both. We’ve also published videos on YouTube on Connectivity. Check those out as well – feel free to share them forward.

Remember, Anyone who wants to connect, can.

It starts with Why, then Mindset. The rest of the Elements of Connectivity follow.

Holiday Connection Tactic

If the end of the year can be trying for you…
If you’re not sure how to connect with the people in the rooms you’ll be in…
And if you want to be comfortable walking into those rooms, knowing you’ll be okay talking with whoever’s in the room…
Here’s a Connecting Tactic for the holidays to help you out.
When you decide to attend a holiday event this year, choose to meet one new person. One person you’ve never spoken with.
If you’ve literally met everyone in the room, choose to engage in conversation with a person who you know very little about.
Lead with an open-ended safe and pleasant query, like “tell me about one of your favorite childhood holiday memories” (or winter memories… holidays can be a negatively loaded time for some people).
Skip the “what do you do” or other stale and dead-end questions. Pass on the touchy topics. Stick to safe and it’ll be more pleasant for everyone. Safe isn’t a sell out, by the way. Safe keeps can keep it pleasant and fun, which is what most people want this time of year.
A classic encourager of further conversation can also be to say, “Tell me more about _[something in the conversation already mentioned]__.”
I’d also advise you to steer clear of weather and sports.
Choose instead movies, books, activities they’ve participated in, places they want to go visit, food and beverage they enjoy, the trip to get to where you all are, funny things you saw in the last week…. keep it positive and you’ll enjoy it more and be invited back.
The key is to simply do it. Simply, engage. Start a conversation. Conversations lead to connections lead to friends, business, opportunities and fun.
Remember, it’s a great day to connect.
Ho ho ho.
p.s. a great gift for the holidays is the Connectivity Canon – it’s a guide for learning how to better connect with people, year round.