The email was patiently waiting for me.

I was encouraged to see the sender’s name, someone I’d recently met at a growth-focused workshop I’d led, so I opened it with eager anticipation.

“GREAT!”, was my reaction upon reading it.

The sender was inquiring about coaching.

After a short back and forth, getting the sender requested materials to begin coaching, there were a few days of waiting….

Then, a few more days later – after sending a 2nd “checking to make sure you got everything safely” email – another email arrived.

“I’m just not sure that we can swing this kind of investment at this time.”

[sound of deflating balloon here]

After thinking about it for a bit, I decided to reply.

Are you sitting on the chaise lounge – or are you diving into your life?

To be clear:

It’s not my practice to persuade, cajole or otherwise manipulate someone to change their mind.

If people want to grow, I can help them. If they don’t, then I’m not going to spend precious time, energy and attention trying to change their mind.


Only we can change our own minds.


If you’re curious about my reply, here’s what I wrote:

“While I appreciate your reply, I’m unclear as to what’s really holding you back.

If you already understand that personal growth is the way forward for you – to build the life you love – there’s something else underneath. What is that, really? I’d encourage you to ask that clarifying question.

There will always be more money; there will never be more time.”


Here’s the juice (lesson):

I totally get what it means to think you don’t have time… or money…. Or can do the work… or are unsure if That Coach is the right one.

The thing is, if you choose to think that time, money, whatever is in the way, you’ll be sitting on the sidelines while your one precious life passes you by.

{acid test: if a loved one was in mortal danger and needed your help, would you find a way to help them? If yes, why aren’t you thinking of yourself that same way?}

Having invested a substantial amount of blood, sweat, tears and – yes, money – in my own development and growth, I feel the excitement of thinking it’s a negative risk.


Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Like Bri Seeley wisely tells us, to NOT risk is way worse than to take the risk and trust yourself.

You’ve got to dive into your life – get your buttinski off the chaise lounge and do the thing that makes you unsteady. Dive in. The only way to get your sea legs is to stand. The only way to swim is to start moving your body.


There’s no way I’d be where I am today – rebuilding the life and business I love – without taking the ’risk’ of investing in myself, making time to do so, saying I’M WORTH IT and doing the work.

When you’re looking at your life, wondering, “How do I move forward?” “How can I grow, change, become the even better version of myself?” – and most critically: “Do I want to be exactly where I am right now in a year?” – know that you’re worth every drop of blood, every bead of sweat, every tear and every penny. And for the record, I’m still gonna love up on that person.


To grow and to invest in yourself to do so is to connect with your best future self.

No matter how ‘good’ we all are, we can all keep getting better.

Like I say when people ask me how I am, I tell them “I’m fabulous, but I’ll get better.”


Get off the chaise lounge. Dive in.

Connect with yourself.

Invest in yourself.

You are your own first priority and you are worth it.