- Make all your invites to connect personal. Using pre-formed phrases by platforms are easy to see through and if you are truly wanting to connect, each interaction is a unique one – hence, it requires individual effort.
- Choose who you want to learn about, thoughtfully. Being selective, like Priya Parker teaches in her brilliant book, The Art of Gathering, is key to the success of a connection. “…thoughtful considered exclusion is vital to any gathering…” Truth. It’s about being focused on your purpose to serve the specific others you connect with.
- Determine your intent before you invite the connection. Why do you want to engage and have a conversation with the other person? What’s the purpose? What do you think you want to give – and what do you think you want to get?
- Mass invite. Connecting is never about collecting or quantity. It’s about one at a time, that we literally can do well: one connection at a time. With props to my excellent editor Julie Johnson, Dunbar’s Rule holds that we do in fact have limited capacity for certain depths or kinds of relationships. One at a time, not many.
- The people who choose to like, follow, friend, clap, heart (and all other emoji-ized symbols) aren’t real connections until you invest the necessary time and energy to make them real. Vanity metrics = comparitinitous, which is a killer my friends! Don’t kid yourself or others that volume = impact. A cylinder full of air is only air.
- Pitching on the first contact (or ever, frankly!). As I teach in the Connectivity Canon, the first few Elements of Connection require intention, thoughtfulness and effort. Once you get to the 4th element – the Y In The Road, you can gain traction. Leave pitching for the ball field; connect instead.
Game on ~