Do’s:
- Make all your invites to connect personal. Using pre-formed phrases by platforms are easy to see through and if you are truly wanting to connect, each interaction is a unique one – hence, it requires individual effort.
- Choose who you want to learn about, thoughtfully. Being selective, like Priya Parker teaches in her brilliant book, The Art of Gathering, is key to the success of a connection. “…thoughtful considered exclusion is vital to any gathering…” Truth. It’s about being focused on your purpose to serve the specific others you connect with.
Determine your intent before you invite the connection. Why do you want to engage and have a conversation with the other person? What’s the purpose? What do you think you want to give – and what do you think you want to get?
Don’ts:
- Mass invite. Connecting is never about collecting or quantity. It’s about one at a time, that we literally can do well: one connection at a time. With props to my excellent editor Julie Johnson, Dunbar’s Rule holds that we do in fact have limited capacity for certain depths or kinds of relationships. One at a time, not many.
- The people who choose to like, follow, friend, clap, heart (and all other emoji-ized symbols) aren’t real connections until you invest the necessary time and energy to make them real. Vanity metrics = comparitinitous, which is a killer my friends! Don’t kid yourself or others that volume = impact. A cylinder full of air is only air.
- Pitching on the first contact (or ever, frankly!). As I teach in the Connectivity Canon, the first few Elements of Connection require intention, thoughtfulness and effort. Once you get to the 4th element – the Y In The Road, you can gain traction. Leave pitching for the ball field; connect instead.
Game on ~
Want more?
Join me for the next Connecting Masterskills Class, November 19th, 2020. Register here and now.
