Okay, so the title above may seem counter to my message of connectivity.
It’s actually congruous.
Here’s what I mean.
1. Whole days can disappear in efforts to connect with other people. Phone calls, meetings, LinkedIn, Zoom, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram….
2. Determine your WHY and your focus first: What is it you’re setting out to do in this world? How do you want to make a difference? How do you want to serve?
3. Once you know your Why, tighten your focus.
4. Cancel appointments that don’t fit toward your goal, bow out of boards and assignments that no longer fit. Do so with diplomacy, respect and grace. I routinely review my schedule, every Sunday
morning, to see what’s ahead – what fits, what doesn’t – any make changes accordingly.
5. Take a clear-light-of-day look at what matters to you and making real headway in your business. What are the connecting activities that fit? Do those things that get you there. Ditch the rest.
6. Examine the relationships you already have. Which ones help you move toward excellence, which ones offer full support, and which ones will help keep you moving forward with focus? Keep those. Purge those that keep you back, the ones you may feel a sense of obligation to yet still hold you back (whether it’s you holding or them), stop any toxic and negative relations. It’s a waste of precious time and energy to ‘try’ to change someone; put that energy into yourself instead.
7. Wisely choose new and existing relationships that will be fully supportive, helpful, engaging, positively push you forward, help you grow. These kinds of relationships are almost always the ones that are mutually enjoyed and meaningful, by the way. Be fully willing to give to those who give to you, when they are the right people.
8. Be willing to have sticky conversations, as I call them, with people who may have a strong tie. Be ready to share your thoughts and needs with them, be honest, calm and respectful in the doing. If they can appreciate your position, they may choose to change and stick around. If not, bid them a respectful farewell and keep going in your own direction.
As Kim Jordan once sagely told me, “Life is short. It’s up to me to make it sweet.”
By the way, this is something I constantly have to work on to discipline myself to focus.
I understand how hard it can feel. The actual practice of clarity is easier said than done.
What’s harder for me is to not succeed. And I want to help you avoid unfruitful connections as well.
To waste my days and hours of life I’ll never get back, that I squandered instead of utilizing to move me forward is an avoidable tragedy. It’s totally in our control to decide which relationships we want and which ones we don’t.
Is it all easy?
Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s downright sticky with certain relationships. Yet it gets smoother and you get better at it.
All the same, ask yourself: what’s my sanity, quality of life and clearmindedness worth? As Mastercard would say, it’s priceless. I’d concur.
Focus on your Why. Adjust and adapt. Discipline = practice = focus = excellence.
It’s your choice.