One thing I do regularly is connect two people. Here are the usual scenarios:

1. A person sharing a goal or desire with me wants to meet someone who/is __________; I know someone who is possibly that person, so I introduce them.

2. In listening to various conversations, my radar is up to connect people, perhaps even before they ask (though never forced) to help them make better progress.

3. Someone directly asks me, “Who you know/do you someone who____?”

In 99% of the instances, I happily and enthusiastically make connections. Typical wording I use goes something like this:

“Happy New Decade [name]

What’s ahead for Q1/this month I can lend support to?

Want to connect you with [other person] today, the [few descriptions of the person]. I believe you two would be a savvy connection, since you [describe why you’re connecting them] and they are always looking to connect with great people who [what the first person can help with].

[other person] – meet [1st person], a long time colleague of mine/connection/cohort/client in the [describe why you’re connecting] world. S/He’s adept at [fill in skills/reason/industry] and could be a fun/wise/smart connection overall.

I’ll step out and let you two take it from here. Thanks ~

g”

Well, a few days ago I did this again – two more people who I believed would be helpful connections for each other.

What did I hear back (even though I ‘step out’)?

This:

“Hello Ginger and [person I connected them with].

Hope all is well.

Nothing on the docket from my end, just gearing up for another year.

I wish you a successful 2020!”

Wait… ‘nothing’?? Really?? Truly – nothing??

While this is one person – and one good person, no judgment – this response helps me get more clear on who I will connect. Who I’ll open a door for, at the request and with the intent to support two people.

As a connector I want to get really clear on who I connect and why, who I don’t connect and why – and continue to hone.

See, connecting requires energy, as does every effort. I LOVE to connect two people who will act on the introduction. I’m not doing it for my own benefit; I’m doing it to serve – I’m a connector and understand fully the value of someone else opening their own connections and reputation by connecting me. It’s huge and I take it with honor, respect and handle it carefully.

What happens next?

I’ll connect the first person who was seeking with someone else, since the person I introduced them too seems frankly unenlightened to the gift of a connection, by someone else for their potential benefit and gain.

I won’t be connecting the other person.

Moving on with clarity in this simple lesson helps us grow when we ‘get’ the message.

Lessons:

1. Get cagier at who to connect and introduce.

2. No judgment of anyone – simply keep moving, while getting smarter by paying attention. Instead of dwelling on the “seriously – you have nothing going one?? Why the hecka did you think I connected you??!!” and my own ungrateful-illplaced thoughts, I’ll move on.

3. Noodle if I know someone else to connect the one person with, who is seeking support and let them know.

4. Be very timely when someone introduces me to someone else they think would be a ‘good’ connection; treat that effort like gold, follow up and follow through.

Oh – and thank the first person for the introduction, no matter where it goes. To get feedback that your efforts are noticed and matter (aka hold value) is key to building meaningful connections.