The L’s of Human Connection are Listening and Language.

I’d give a HELLYEA to what Julian Treasure teaches: listening is a gift of love. To respect and be patient and truly l i s t e n to someone is magic. To be genuinely listened to is equally magic.

Really tuning into another person by exercising the practice and skill of listening is powerful.

For instance, when’s the last time you thought, “Wow – I really felt listened to.”

Listening is different than hearing.

What we hear is up to us: the skill of listening is something we can all develop, hone and improve. Connectors tune in – they listen for all kinds of reasons. The first one being that they understand human connection requires us to be curious, interested (v interesting) and to do so means we listen.

Language is intrinsically entwined with connecting because listening is part of language. Language communicated more than one way requires a recipient. Listening is a huge part of language.

Language is 1 of 3 primary modalities:

  • Verbal language
  • Body language
  • Non-verbal language

In conducting client workshops recently, I wrote the 2 L’s of Connecting on the white board: Listening and Language. They’re both essential to human connection.


Because learning how to connect is skills-based. If you want to learn how to connect, you will. There’s no discussion of if you’re born with it or not, if you’re an introvert or extrovert (that’s an excuse). It’s skills based.

Listening is skills based. Language is skills based. We all must learn the skills in order to execute.

And because learning how to connect is skills based, the great news is that you can significantly increase your ability to communicate, reach, understand and change the world when you focus on the skills of listening and language. You amp your connecting abilities. All of it is possible if you want to.

Tune in to these two elemental human opportunities to learn, practice and work toward mastery. When you do, human connection will be better, stronger, more meaningful and more robust.