I was sitting at my desk and wondering, “do I go ahead and send this person an invite?”
The invite is to an event I’m hosting – the person is someone I’ve known for almost a decade.
“Of course you do, Ginger! They want to know what you’re up to.”
“Hmmm… I don’t know. Do they care? Or will they see it as an unwelcome email in their precious inbox?”
She who hesitates, doesn’t get. Nor does she change the world.
“Yes, I’ll send them the invite. I’d sincerely love for them to join me.”
In the moments after sending the email, a bunch of feelings surfaced.
Okay, they started surfacing before I event sent it…
These feelings are ones of slight surprise to me. Surprise because by and large, I’m confident in my invites and including and connecting with people, all sorts of people who know me, whom I’ve met, who are doing interesting work that I’ve connected with. People I’m interested in supporting.
The feeling of confidence is way more prevalent to me than a lot of others (guilt isn’t anywhere even CLOSE to my address… total wasted energy, that one).
So why was I having these feelings of… hesitation. Of wondering. Of questioning.
Because, while everyone has their super powers, everyone also has moments of doubt.
Doubt for me in this case was this: do they care?
It’s not that I think they don’t care. It’s simply that I want to keep the authenticity of the relationship true. To foster the trust I’ve worked so hard to build with people, to know that when I do send an invite, that they want to get it. That they won’t be turned off by it – and turned off to me.
It’s no small endeavor to create and build a business. The person mentioned above is someone who has worked her butt off and built an incredibly successful, longevity focused business. I like, admire and respect her. And the last thing I want to do, especially as a connector, is to pester her with any communications that she may not want.
That, in the end, is what I decided to overcome in sending the email.
Reconciling the fact that, yes – the relationship is authentic and I have very very rarely sent her any sort of invite, solicitation of business or otherwise non-personal-relationship-building communication. Ever. She gets fanned-up soooo much, that the last thing I wanted to do, when we met, was to be another fan.
Fans are great, don’t get me wrong.
What I wanted though was to form a true relationship. One where we got to know each other, on whatever level that could become. One of trust, mutual respect and so doing, one where we’d both be glad to hear from the other.
I’m not super close or even close to this person. We know each other, we call each other by name, it’s real, if not tremendously deep. We can have a conversation about the everyday stuff of life and THAT’S my goal. It’s always a pleasure to see her and I do make sure I say hello and inquire about what’s going on in life as a friend and not as a fan when I see her.
So I did in fact send the email.
Then, I sat back in my chair and thought, yes. Yes, Ginger, you did the right thing. You invited someone you’re connected with, whom you like and respect to be part of something important to you.
Once in a while I feel this way – unsure. It’s not common yet when I feel it, it’s the moment I remind myself to forge on. That to be the teacher of others in Connectivity I need to – I must – practice what I extol.
That’s what I did.
Will I hear from her? Will she attend my event?
It’s totally in her court. And I’d be absolutely thrilled if she did! It’s entirely her choice.
And now she knows what’s going on, that I’d love to have her there and, well, that the relationship is still alive and well.
I’ve got faith that people want to know they are thought of and valued. That’s the connector in me, being faithful to connecting on purpose.