Imagine a time….


Imagine a time when you met someone new. Imagine that person has been in your life for a long time now – and image what it’d be like to not be connected with that person.

  • How does that make you feel?
  • What would you say the drawbacks would be to not knowing that person now?
  • What kind of relationship is it? What’s the value of your relationship with that person?
  • Could you assign a cost of your being connected with that person?

For many relationships, you may say, “No, I can’t – or won’t.” Or perhaps, “that’s impossible.”

In actuality, the cost of human connection is very real.


Think of that person who you love to support – you introduce them to others, you invite them to events and outings where they connect with other people, they may realize fruitful business because of you.

Think of the person who does that for you.

Are there real costs here?


And is that what we should be focusing on in our connecting efforts, as we create and build relationships?

I don’t think so.


What I do think is that we need to be carefully thinking of costs in relationship, in our connections.

1. What is brought to bear with a healthy, fulfilling and productive connection?

2. What’s brought to bear in a negative, toxic or otherwise unhealthy connection?

I bet you can answer the second question above easier than you can the first.

And if you can, and if you struggle answering the first one, then it’s time to really put your thinking cap on and realize that the cost of connecting is huge.

Connecting positively is a skills based, life-long endeavor. The investment we put forth of our time, intention, activities and care of relationships, aka connections, is everything.

I’d challenge you to make a list right now: 5 fruitful connections and 5 draining connections.

Feed the fruitful ones, end or disconnect from the draining ones.

The costs of living are high enough that to keep unhealthy, destructive or negative connections is to pay the price in a bad way. Notice and nurture the good ones, the healthy ones, that ones that are mutually fulfilling and you’ll have paid the positive price of a live well lived.